eBay WTF of the Day - Cat Eye Glasses for Jerks

These sunglasses can only be a cruel joke. We imagine a young girl dreaming of cat eye glasses, begging her mother and father, wishing and hoping, and then that big bithday rolls around and ...

WTF.

"Mom and Dad, you jerks! These aren't cat eye glasses!! These are glasses that fold up to look like they're big cat's eyes."

:::Mother and father grin smugly:::

"Stop grinning smugly. You knew what I wanted and you took this opportunity to dash my hopes like they don't mean anything. Are my dreams some kind of joke to you? Do you not care about my feelings at all? What am I supposed to do with these? They are not cute and vintage, which is what I wanted. I certainly can't wear them in public -- what am I supposed to say about the bridge? 'Oh, that's just ... a cat's nose?'

Over my nose? That's not even sort of cool. There isn't even any UV protection. Do you want me to go blind?? I guess that's the trick isn't it, because if I were blind, I wouldn't be able to see myself in the mirror when I wore them. You know, Jenny got real Ray Bans and I didn't even ask you for a brand name, I just wanted cat eyes. This is just like when I wanted a teddy bear and you showed up with lingerie!"

:::The running of feet, the slamming of a bedroom door:::

Okay, from there our imagination goes a little weird. Still, WTF? These novelty glasses are really only good for going "oh neat, look what it does" and after that are completely useless -- unless you're some kind of cat sunglasses collector, and if you are, we don't know how to help you. Except to say you can bid on these for $34.25 here.

Actors wishing to use the above speech as a monologue for auditions are welcome. It is our gift to you.

Photo by rr-pots@ebay.com.