Freeze Your Head, Live Forever

So, you died. Sorry! That sucks. Happens to all of us, right? Like losing your phone and love spats and getting liver when you ordered cheesecake. But what doesn’t happen to all of us is that when we die we are gone forever. No, I’m not talking the great spa in the sky. I’m talking cryonics.

I’m telling you to freeze your head.

Think about it (before your brain goes on ice). As soon as you die, a beeper goes off that alerts the white-coated wonder-workers at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation, who rush to your location, copter you to the nearest refrigerator, remove your top section (that orb on your neck where ostensibly your entire identity is stored), and then glaciate your beautiful self. What next? Well, some years down the line … no telling how many … when scientists finally perfect the fine art of head transplants (and you know they will), you get thawed out (Ah, Spring!) and stitched to a lovely new body, and then it's nothing but "Hey, Ma, I’m alive!" (True, your mom might not still be there, but if she cryopreserves as well ... )

Sure, maybe it’s all a bit more complicated than that, but not much. You can read all about it right here. And, okay, Walt Disney didn’t do it, but so what? You’re cooler than him. At least you will be once you’re human gelato!

Photo via Wikimedia Commons.