The Meaning of Darth Vader's Appearance at the NYSE

Darth Vader opening the New York Stock Exchange?

In these still-tenuous economic times, some might think this is a bad omen, while others might feel emboldened by Darth's powerful presence.

Either way, so it was, Tuesday morning, when Darth Vader and several Storm Troopers appeared high above the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange to ring the opening bell. According to the Associated Press, the group was there as representatives of Lucasfilm Ltd. "to celebrate the lasting appeal of the Star Wars saga." But we're no imbeciles. We know there's more to this than meets the eye.

Toronto's Globe & Mail thought so, too, and launched a contest for the best caption to sum up an image of Darth Vader mixing with traders on the floor.

As writers, we thought we'd take another approach, reading between the lines (as we are wont to do.) So we looked up some of Darth's most iconic quotes, whittled them down and came up with these "fortune-like" suggestions of what his presence might mean for the US economy (Unfortunately, "Luke, I am your father" didn't make the list.)

So here goes. We've divided the predictions into three categories: positive, negative, and ambiguous. You be the judge. Of course, being a site where "good lives," we're inclined to believe that things are looking up, economically speaking, and that Darth's appearance is simply the dark before the dawn. The forces is strong within us!

(Once you've perused our shortlist of fortune/quotes, check out the AP video below.)

Positive:

"The force is strong with this one." (We're on the rebound!)

"Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them." (We're on the rebound and we're getting help!)

"Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger."  (We're on the rebound and he's offering some advice to help further!)

Negative:

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." (We're not supporting the recovery enough!)

"You don't know the power of the dark side!" (Dark side=bad loans)

"You should not have come back!" (We're in for another crash.)

"You are unwise to lower your defenses!" (We're in for another crash.)

Ambiguous:

"The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force." (Could be good if by "force" he means "recovery.")

"You cannot hide forever." (Time to start investing in that 401K again?)

"Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory." (Where did we go wrong? Should we figure it out before we start to invest again?)

"The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet." (Recovery is on, but will be slow; we lack confidence.)

Photo courtesy of Roger Bits via Flickr.