Eco-Criminals Fingered by Feds

By Steve Enders - December 11, 2008 Talk about bad timing. Just when I was about to launch a shock and awe campaign in the backyard garden with my bathtub DDT operation, the EPA goes and spoils all my fun. Today, the Feds published its "Most Wanted" eco-fugitive list and website. Like putting a bunch of eco-criminals' faces on a website and some posters is going to solve anything? We all know by now that your mug needs to be the ace of spades in a deck of playing card to really mark you as infamous. Either way, I have no desire to be on this list or in a pack of cards. Then again, these guys are pond scum. Take the father/son duo of Carlos and Allesandro Giordano. These guys had the nerve to illegally import a bunch of old Alfa Romeos that didn't meet US emission standards. I had a great time driving my dad's 1977 Fiat Spyder into the ground, but I'll be dammed if that thing didn't pass a smog check every other year. The Giordanos are not nearly the worst of the lot. It's tough to pick a winner from this list of littering losers, but the prize probably goes to Mauro Valenzuela (pictured at right). He fled the country after being arraigned for allegedly and perhaps single-handedly causing the 1996 crash of ValuJet flight 592, which killed 110 people. Valenzuela is alleged to have certified that the plane's oxygen generators were loaded into the plane's cabin properly, but they were placed without proper markings and without other standard safety measures. The tanks exploded shortly after takeoff and sent the plane down. The list goes on, featuring a whole cast of 23 dirty characters. Take a look at the list and if you see any of these guys in your neighborhood, best call the cops and grab the nearest gas mask.