Overwhelmed? Try Under-Ease

Okay. Admittedly, this is a delicate topic. Or a distasteful topic. Or I don't know what kind of topic. Or I don't even want to know what kind of topic. But either way, I just couldn't help passing this tip along. Because, well, someone you know ... the proverbial "friend of a friend" ... might just need it. Like need it real bad.

It's a health issue, people! Or, as my step-father used to say, a natural bodily function.

To avoid persecution (or is it mortification?), I'm just going to begin by copying and pasting (isn't that what I get paid for?) the main promo text from the website, and then I think you'll get the picture. Or, as it were, the odor:

"UNDER-EASE" ANTI-FLATULENCE UNDERWEAR Revolutionary New Underwear For Offensive Gas A Real Product for a Real Problem. Over 25,000 satisfied customers. Also Available: "Gas Eaters", "Plus Sizes", and "2nd Generation Under-Ease"

What to say? I'm speechless. So I'm going to continue to quote extensively (long-windedly?), just to cover my back (yuck, yuck):

"Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas (malodorous flatus) and are made from a soft air-tight fabric (polyurethane-coated nylon). To maintain the air-tightness, elastic is sewn into the material around the waist and both legs. A triangular "exit hole" for the flatus to be expelled is cut from the back of the air-tight underwear, near the bottom. This "exit hole" is covered with a "pocket" made of ordinary porous fabric sewn over the "exit hole". This unique design forces all expelled gas (flatus) out through the "pocket". Inside the "pocket" is a high-functioning, replaceable filter - the core of the technology. This multi-layered filter is made in a sandwich-style, and begins with the two outer layers of wool felt. The second two layers are made of non-woven polypropylene and spun glass materials. In the center of the filter is a single layer of activated carbon. The filter is then covered with soft ordinary material to allow for easy replacement in or out of the pocket. The underwear are washable and will last approximately a year depending on the frequency of use and laundering. Each filter will last from several weeks to several months depending on the frequency of use and laundering."

Wow. That was hard to even paste. Ew. Did I just say paste? And did I just read the phrases "activated carbon", "sandwich-style", and "soft ordinary material" in a marketing blurb about gas-capturing panties? Too bad these folks have such good grammar, or I could have at least written (sic).

Photo via Under-Tec.com.