Normal Green: Green Gripes

We normally try to keep things positive and uplifting here at Tonic News, but sometimes we just need to embrace a good, old fashioned bitch session. Today I'm thinking about all the things I do — and we do — to make the world a greener place and how it doesn't always work out as planned. As a parent, one of the first big "green" decisions I had to make was whether to use cloth or disposable diapers. After much soul-searching (and acknowledging of my inner lazy), I decided to go with disposables. (I know.) I decided, however, that I would check out greener alternatives and one of the brands that was priced right was chlorine-free Seventh Generation . They turned out to be just fine, but my one (minor) complaint with them was that with their tan coloring they are just about the saddest diapers you will ever see. Am I right?

You can't tell in this photo because the baby is wearing a t-shirt and socks that are the same unflattering shade of baby-poo brown as the diapers, but if the baby's clothes were white you'd get it. Those diapers made my cute, pink baby look like a soot-covered, little infant hobo. But, it's a minor complaint considering how much better for the earth they are supposed to be. (Don't berate me for my choice!)

Let's move on. Next in my sites are green cleaning alternatives, namely dishwashing liquid and laundry detergent. Remember when Trader Joe's stores exploded all over the country and everyone started using their eco-detergent? And then everyone's clothes turned dingy and gray because that laundry detergent didn't clean worth a damn? Yes it's better for the environment, but I want white whites, dammit! Is that too much to ask? And, unscented? really?  But how will I know my clothes are clean? (Oh, I kid ... kinda.) I guiltily switched back and forth between eco-friendly laundry detergent and the horrible-yet-delicious-smelling Gain for years until I finally settled on a happy medium: Ecos Magnolia & Lilies detergent (available at Costco) which cleans great, smells great, and is available in the ginormous keg size that my family requires. And please, don't get me started on those soap nuts. They seem ridonkulous and yet, I am intrigued. I am such a sucker for anything that promises clean+earth friendliness, just label me "Target Market." You've tried them, haven't you. I know you have. And you are going to tell me they are totally boss, right? I knew it.

Now on to dish detergents, I always find that when I buy the green brands, I use them up more rapidly that super-soapy earth-killing brands. As a work-at-home mom of two young kids, I am washing dishes all day long.  I try to use the minimum amount of soap possible to get the dishes clean but it always seem like with the natural dish soaps, I'm reaching for the bottle more often. Then I feel guilty for wasting and sending more dish soap down the drain. What's your experience? Let's talk CFL's, you know, the light bulbs that are supposed to last 8 years that I end up changing just as often (it seems) as regular bulbs?  Is their burn time a lie or is it just that I am buying crapping bulbs from IKEA. Please, someone tell me they have the same experience.

Toilet paper. You know what? That's where I draw the line. I don't really need to consider what the impact of my toilet paper choice will be on the next seven generations. I just care about what's happening "in the moment," as it were, and "in the moment," 2-ply, quilted softness is a fine, fine thing. Don't get me wrong, I embrace the changes that I've made over time to lower my carbon footprint and I am constantly striving to do better. I happily purchase alternative energy from my city, use cloth napkins instead of paper, recycle, pack low waste lunches for my daughter, donate or give things away that I don't want anymore, bike as an alternative to driving whenever possible, turn off lights when not in use, eat locally as much as I can, support environmental groups, and am working hard to get a presidential ticket elected that actually cares about the environment. BUT — sometimes, I admit, I long for the good old, transfat-laden, air-cooled, ignorant days. But that's just part of being "normal green."