Rich People Have Feelings Too

I recently attended a presentation hosted by Dr. Jim Taylor, vice chairman of Harrison Group and Cara David, senior vice president of corporate marketing and integrated media of American Express Publishing, to hear their latest research findings on the top 10 percent most affluent Americans and how they're spending their money. The presentation included lots of data gleaned from the minds of 1,300 Americans who have over $100,000 in yearly discretionary income — as in income after tax, mortgage, home maintenance and child education — such as the depressing optimism fail chart above.

If you're into numbers like me, check out my article "How the Wealthy are Spending Their Money This Year" on Luxist.com to get the dirty data — it's interesting how this recession has affected spending. Surprise: they're spending less. Anyway, here on Tonic, I want to talk about something else.

Of the wealthy folks surveyed, only 29 percent want to be recognized as being wealthy, and a whopping 54 percent feel guilty about purchasing luxury goods in this economic climate. What does that mean? Modesty.

The people who still have money are being goshdarn decent and not dangling plasma screen chandeliers and golden swimming pools in front of us. Now, 78 percent did say that the crisis has affected their sense of financial security, so maybe some people don't want you to know they're rich in case they're not tomorrow, but I'm gonna give that 71 percent of wealthy people who are keepin' it to themselves the benefit of the doubt.

Modesty is cool. I'm someone who only brags when I'm nervous, and what does that tell me about bragging? It's a defense. Smart people know that bragging means you're scared. If someone shows up to your barbecue in diamonds, pearls and Dior, chances are they think you're better than they are in some way, and they're trying to win another way. And now that you know that? They have failed.

So be nice to them.

There are lots of little ways people can pitch in to boost the American morale. Check out our Tonic's 50 Most Beautiful People for some ideas, but I'm really liking this modesty one. There are really no rewards for modesty, besides the lowered likelihood that people will call you an arrogant jerk. It's nice to know that the majority of affluent Americans aren't trying to impress anybody — in fact, they're being less flashy, out of respect.

Some more good news: Though optimism may be down, happiness is up! This year, 66 percent of respondents declared themselves "very happy," up from 58 percent last year. Men were up 4 percent and women were up a whole 10 percent. Maybe less competition for looking rich and throwing your money around for show actually makes people feel better. It's in the numbers!