'American Idol:' The Los Angeles Auditions

Another day, another American Idol audition show. Today we highlight the best one-liners from the show — and even added our own one-liners back when appropriate. 10. The enduring Simon/Ryan hate-fest continues ...In the opener Simon jokingly says that Ryan has this line in his script: "I think I'm falling in love with him." Ryan retorts, "That's what he says to himself in the mirror."9. Crazy IQ-sweaty guy gets defiant ...One contestant to Simon: "I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere. I'm sorry." Judges to contestant: You. Are. Not. Going. To. Hollywood. (Bonus points to Kara for her follow-up: I wanted to give him a towel.)8. Adam Lambert spawns people who think the hair makes the singer ...Simon to Lambert-a-like: "It sounds like you've gone to the dentist 10 minutes ago." 7. American Idol teaches our youth values ...A little kid comments on his older (presumably) sibling's lack of golden ticket: "That was crap."6. Simon gets paternal ...Mary (a Pat Benatar sing-a-like) has a daughter who proclaims that she likes Simon's negativity. What does Simon say upon hearing this? "Are you sure this isn't my daughter?"5. Proclamations of self suck-a-tude ...Singer Damien proclaimed that he screwed up about as bad as possible. Simon retorted, "Damien, you should just go." In an American Idol first, Damien agreed: "On my way." And out the door he went. 4. Random auditioner comment of the day ...A dancing man in red stripes named Austin said: "I don't think there's anyone on American Idol that's — sexually — ever been like me." I don't know what that means. And I don't want to know. 3. Hide your daughters — Ryan is coming!When confronted by a young girl that proclaimed she would audition for American Idol when she was 16, Ryan said: "I'm going to be really old when you are 16."  Good point. And, ewwww. 2. Dumb comment of the day from someone crying after being rejected ..."Get out of my face." Really? What did you think the cameras were going to show? Your feet?1. "Don't hit on my friend" comment of the day ...Auditioner Jason Greene sang, "When I think about you, I touch myself." Kara responded, "I believe you."

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