Ethan Zohn: Top 10 Reasons I'm Glad NOT to be on 'Survivor'

The 20th season of Survivor has started off with a bang. Everyone always asks if I still watch the show. Of course, I’m watching it! I love the game of Survivor and I played Survivor All-Stars with half the people on this season of Heroes vs. Villains. Every week I kickback on my couch and yell, laugh, coach and get annoyed with everyone. It’s the best way to play this game. It was a little bitter sweet watching last night's episode because I always want to play and I had to pass when CBS offered me a spot.

However, I thought it would be fun to provide a list of all the reasons I’m happy NOT to be on this season's Survivor.

1. Carrying around tissues and a pacifier for Boston Rob would get annoying. Apparently all you have to do to get some fresh water is cry in front of Jeff Probst.

2. Having no hair, I would burn pretty easily.

3. I didn’t want to make James and Sugar look bad when I took my shirt off.

4. I’d have to choose between watching the Olympics and watching the Heroes tribe make complete fools out of themselves.

5. With the economy so bad, it would be difficult to invest the $1 million I'd win.

6. Lets be honest, you never see a nice Jewish boy camping in the middle of the rainforest.

7. It’s very difficult to Tweet from Samoa.

8. I’m still constipated from when I filmed Survivor Africa in 2001.

9. Rupert’s tie die shirt gives me flashbacks from college.

10. Xanax just won't cut it as a luxury item.

Photo courtesy CBS.