You need a vacation. Like, some quality time with a beach. If you don't know you need a vacation, or need justification, or perhaps need some help convincing your significant other or best friend that you both need a vacation, read on. I recently had the sweet, sweet blessing of a beach vacation in Puerto Rico with my charming boyfriend — who very nearly refused to go to a beach. He is now converted, and even helped me come up with a few things to entice the skeptics (and get those of you who are already believers excited and on the phone with The Ritz-Carlton San Juan). 1. You're not gonna be the fattest one. I don't care how fat you are. There's gonna be somebody fatter than you at the beach. And, as we overheard while staying at The Gran Melia Rio Grande, "tan fat is better than pale fat." Also, maybe planning a beach vacation will inspire you to get in better shape! 2. Tan-ness. You will have the envy of all your friends and co-workers when you return — with a healthy tan. Disclaimer: Skin cancer is a bad thing. Don't get it. Wear sunscreen and hats and stuff. But, you know, sun in moderation helps you make Vitamin D. And tan-ness. 3. Sandcastles. Enough said. 
4. Exfoliation. If it's been awhile, you may have forgotten how good sand feels on your feet. It feels good, because it is good. All your nasty calluses will be gently exfoliated away. 5. Your lungs. I live in New York, and sometimes, I feel it would be healthier not to breathe at all here! The remedy? Salty. Sea. Air. It's like lung candy, which sounds gross, but totally isn't. 6. The beach can be cheap. Firstly, the beach is its own entertainment. Yeah, you can spend a lot of money dining and sight-seeing wherever you go, but you don't have to. You can just lie there. For a bonus, go somewhere where the cost of living is low, or go to an all inclusive resort, or hit up a special deal like a "club level" so you'll have food and drinks at the ready without spending any extra dough. 7. Fresh seafood. Right? 8. Hospitality. Other people make the bed for you. (P.S. Tip them.) 9. "Sight-seeing." You will get to ogle your significant other, as well as everyone else's significant others, in a bathing suit. 10. You can relax. A lot of people think they can't relax; that they wouldn't be OK just lying on a beach. These are the people who need a beach vacation the most. You won't have to worry about work; you can bring it with you. The Internet works most places, and so does your phone — I managed at one point to Tweet with my feet in the ocean. The advanced world of communication is your friend. And, as we all have learned but sometimes forget: The world continues turning without you. You're allowed to check out for a little while. Frankly, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to. So go. Go to the beach, build a sandcastle, clear your head and lungs, and take some photos — because this time next year, you'll probably be too fat. Just kidding.
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