Valentine’s Day is stressful for some of us. Our enjoyment of the holiday of love can be completely destroyed by expectations, singledom, fears of diet-destroying cuisine and general curmudgeonliness about the over-commercialization of it all.
Think about it. It’s a day, which, for whatever reason — cultural or greeting card industry related — we have decided to set aside for romance. Why rebel? Life is hard. Any opportunity to celebrate ought to be embraced. If you’re in love, or even if you’re not, why not celebrate love and romance?
To avoid getting the blues, disappointing your honey and possibly even getting slapped, here are 10 Ways Not to Screw Up Valentine’s Day.
1. Decide who to laud with your love.
Pick one person and make them feel special for Valentine’s Day. This is pretty easy to achieve. If you’re in a relationship, this person has to be your significant other. No exceptions. If you’re single, you can pick anyone from your best friend or your mom to yourself. Don’t assume that just because you’re single you shouldn’t participate. Don’t skip the party just because you don’t have a date!
2. Don’t be selfish.
Particularly if you’re single, you can’t expect to be showered with love. If you do, you’re likely to be disappointed. If you’re in a relationship, sometimes your significant other will surprisingly not get the memo about Valentine’s Day. If you didn’t talk with them about it, there’s really nothing you can do. Make your Valentine’s Day about making someone else feel special, and you’re likely to achieve your goal.
3. Gifts.
For those of you with significant others, consider this the memo: send them this article. Screw cards. If you’re feeling all anti-Valentine’s Day because you think it was created by the greeting card industry, don’t buy a card. Solved. Gifts on Valentine’s Day are customary. Men, here’s an article from the Chicago Tribune with applicable tips, like “If the words ‘she could really use this,’ cross your mind while holding a gift, put it down and leave the store.” Women, there are gift lists all over the web, and you can surely find something suitable for your man. If you think you can’t afford a gift, what you mean is that you don’t feel like shopping — something thoughtful or handmade for $5 can make all the difference. Don’t be a jerkstore.
4. Don’t overspend.
Overspending can spoil your Valentine’s Day. Don’t spend more than you can; it will make you nervous about money. Don’t take your loved one to a restaurant where you fear the bill. Also, if you’re not in a serious relationship, overspending can seem presumptuous and make the recipient uncomfortable. Play within your means.
5. Make an effort, not excuses.
Whether it’s that you can’t buy your loved one a luxury vacation this year, that the gift is smaller than last year or that your skin broke out the previous day, there is no need to make excuses. If you can make your loved one feel special, you’re golden. Don’t ruin it by telling them everything that didn’t go right. Make an effort to keep things magical and light.
6. Plan ahead.
If you’re alone and planning to spoil somebody else, plan ahead just how you will and what you’re going to do, to avoid chickening out (or getting lazy). If you’re in a relationship, decide ahead of time who’s making the plans. Get reservations (seriously, call today), pick a movie or concert, agree to celebrate on the 13th because it’s a Saturday; whatever. Just don’t wake up and say “Happy Valentine’s Day. What should we do?” Not sexy.
7. Eat sensibly.
If you’re still trying to shed the holiday pounds, you don’t have to stop. Not everyone has to rock it like an ancient civilization; dousing the day in wine and chocolate and decadence (though you certainly can if you want to). There’s no reason to overindulge in food, especially if that’s a sensitive point. Eat just a couple of chocolates after dinner, or indulge in just one fabulous dessert. Look forward to it; it will help you be good the rest of the day. Additional note: If your loved one is trying to lose weight, don’t buy them a box of chocolate. That’s mean.
8. Manage your expectations.
Even with the perfect dinner reservation, fascinating conversation and supreme bliss isn’t guaranteed. You won’t always know the right thing to say. Romance often happens in retrospect. Unexpected things may crop up during your Valentine’s date. Just focus on making your partner smile. If he or she isn’t in a mood to smile, do something else to make them feel special.
9. No laundry lists.
For heaven’s sake, no fighting! Fighting, and airing out the “laundry list” of everything you’re mad about in your relationship is often a result of over-expectations and/or selfishness. It’s Valentine’s Day. Put aside your quibbles in honor of the day. You may find you don’t need to think about them at all, ever again.
10. Relax.
Don’t stress out over Valentine’s Day. Building it up to be a big, important thing in your mind is foolish. It’s just a day; a day when we’re invited to celebrate love. Enjoy yourself!
Photo by antwerpenR via Flickr
