Last night’s American Idol brought the contestants down to 24: 12 women and 12 men, which meant, as Ryan Seacrest put it in a dramatic voice over: “For every heart that swell[ed] with good news, one [was] broken with bad.” Mercifully, the show focused on the good, because really, at this point, who wants to squirm through the process of 24 young dreams — just an octave away from superstardom — being crushed in the Kodak Theater?
Following their Tuesday night performance, one-by-one the contestants streamed onto the stage, shaky-kneed, to take their seat across from the judges and face the music. Inspired by the location, we thought we’d review last night’s best five moments, Academy Award-style:
Best On-Screen Chemistry: Judge Kara DioGuardi and contestant Tyler Grady
DioGuardi: “You sort of went to your own place a lot of times, sort of like planet Tyler. Do you think you’re gonna bring some of those moves if you stay in the show?
Grady: “Oh absolutely.”
DioGuardi: “You would?”
Grady: “Whatever kind of moves you want, I’ll give you.”
DioGuardi: “I think we want to see those moves again, and you’re going to go through.”
Best Dramatic Writing: Delivered by Ryan Seacrest
“For most, this is an overwhelming baptism of fire into the world of Idol.” (If you say so.)
Best Drama Queen: Janelle Wheeler, the Cowgirl from the Sunshine State
Janelle: “I don’t think anything else is as hard as American Idol.”
Really, we can think of a few things. How about childbirth? Or getting a PhD? Or making it to the Olympics?
Best On-Screen Breakdown: Thaddeus Johnson
Is there anything worse than seeing a grown man cry? Johnson broke down and sobbed when he got the bad news. It was painful. He kept repeating that the judges told him he “didn’t do anything wrong.” He wouldn’t even accept a hug from a friend, and the cameras caught the whole messy breakdown — heaving sobs and all. The scene only ended when he escaped to a bathroom stall to be comforted by his mother. Ouch. Someone please give this man a recording contract. We can’t take it!
Best Performance of a Judge: Ellen Degeneres
Yes, unseating the great Simon Cowell, Degeneres delivers a moving performance of a remorseful judge delivering bad news, only to turn it all around at the end:
Speaking to contestant Katie Stevens: “This is hard for me, ’cause my entire life is about positivity and making people happy and it’s the worst thing in the world to me to ever have to deliver bad news. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, I don’t like saying anything negative or critique anybody. I thought you did great. (eyebrows scrunched in worry) PAUSE (with eerie horror show music in the background), quivering lip. So you’re going through.
Oh, and we’d be remiss if we didn’t give a nod to dread-head Crystal Bowersox for Best Mom Hair. Most moms of toddlers don’t have time to wash their hair. Bowersox accepts this and gets funky with dreadlocks. And greatest inspiration goes to Angela Martin who kept her chin up, despite failing to make the top 24 on her third try on American Idol. DioGuardi called her “one of the bravest people” she’d ever met and we couldn’t agree more.
Image courtesy of Wikipedia.
