It is with a heavy heart that we gather here today to mourn the loss of Blockbuster Video. The franchise filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on the morning of Sept. 22, 2010. Although several of the company’s stores will continue to operate despite the filing, the overwhelming reaction to this news among Americans was “Blockbuster still exists?!” Given this reaction, if you do still use Blockbuster as your primary means of receiving cinematic entertainment, we suggest finding another source, as the franchise’s days may be numbered. And with that, we give you, an ode to an old friend (in its favorite color, blue):
Despite what movies like She’s All That and 10 Things I Hate About You show us, when you’re in high school, there are not actually raging parties every weekend. In fact, what you really do almost every weekend is drive around looking for something to do, usually pausing a few times at a convenience store. Ah, glory days.
Unfortunately, most nights result in defeat. And so, rather than put extraneous miles on your parents’ car, you and your friends decide to rent a movie (because being seen at the movie theater on Saturday night means you clearly don’t have plans) at Blockbuster.
Back in the late ’90s and early 2000s, renting a movie meant driving to a brick-and-mortar store to physically pick one up. Flicks did not arrive at your doorstep in little red envelopes brought by your mail courier. Instead of knowing what show you were going to be watching weeks in advance because you placed it in your queue (a word most Americans didn’t even know existed in the pre-Netflix era), there was an element of surprise involved. You and your friends would walk slowly around the new releases, which wound their way around the entire perimeter of the store.
“How about [insert latest gore and horrorfest here]?” friend that no one takes seriously would say.
“Hey, didn’t we want to see [insert name of new release for which you vaguely recall liking the trailer] when it came out?” another friend pipes in, holding up the empty case that signifies the film.
“Oh, yeah,” you all nod in unison, “But let’s see what else they have first.”
So the group continues to stroll around the store for a bit, carefully debating a few other choices before making this crucial decision. Finally, it’s time to pay. You approach the counter.
“Blockbuster card?” the pimply-faced clerk says (He was always acne-ridden in hindsight, right?).
You all look around, not wanting to be the one responsible for the exorbitant late fees you know the movie will inevitably accumulate as it sits in your room for the next five days. After a standoff, someone ultimately caves. The ridiculous $5 fee is paid, and you leave with your entertainment for the night. Instant gratification, plus the opportunity to buy some overpriced Reese’s Pieces in a bucket if you want them.
Blockbuster is survived by Netflix, RedBox, iTunes and your local library, which if you didn’t know by now, rents DVDs for like, really cheap. We mean super cheap. So, get on that. And support your local library in the process. Really, you can cancel Netflix — but don’t let us tell you how to do your monthly budgets, we’re just here to eulogize Blockbuster.
R.I.P. Blockbuster. You saved many a high school weekend night from complete suburban ennui and drudgery.
Photo by TheTruthAbout… via Flickr.