In last night’s episode of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, leading man Jake Pavelka met up with the final three women for overnight dates in St. Lucia, presumably to test-drive each one, before eliminating Gia in the second-to-last rose ceremony of the season.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the good fortune of being Jake. First, within a week-long span, he gets to have 24-hour dates with three beautiful, 20-something-year-old scantily-clad women on an all-expenses-paid trip, of which he needn’t plan a thing. Second, he gets to seduce each of the said women into spending the night with him in three different “fantasy suites,” decked out in red rose petals, also without having to lift a finger. Third, he doesn’t have to call the next day! He doesn’t even have to fake an “I love you!” All he has to do is show up for the next one.
Yes, it’s good to be Jake.
To prove just how warped Jake’s universe has become, here are a few of our favorite statements made by the man himself in last night’s episode:
“I’m really excited that I’m down to my final three women.”
“As much as I want her here, I’m so in love with these three women … and I just have to trust that my heart is leading me in the right direction.”
“I’m the type of guy, you know, my heart is open, it’s in the right spot.”
“I feel like right now is the perfect time to give her the Fantasy Suite Card.”
“Gia has grabbed hold of my heart so hard. My life starts flashing before my eyes and I can honestly say that Gia could be the woman that I propose to.” (Uttered just days before eliminating her.)
“Tonight I need to make sure that I’m not just simply physically attracted to Vienna. I need to make sure that there’s really some substance to her heart.” (And the Fantasy Suite is the way to find out!)
“Rolling around in the sand today with Vienna, that was pretty smokin’ hot.”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I’ve got to know and I’ve got to figure it out. What kind of rings do you like? Do you like thick bands or do you like thinner bands? What kind of cut do you like? Do you like circle or princess or square?”
Followed immediately by:
“I just got to be honest with you, there are two other women here and I have fallen for them both, as well. And, you know, that just makes everything very real for me.”
“That’s what I’ve always loved about you, just your brutal honesty.” (Uttered in response to Vienna’s profession of love.)
“I don’t know who I would send home to have you back.” (To Ali, when faced with her request for a second chance.)
“Sometimes this journey can be a little lonely.”
And, our favorite:
“Here I am, in love with my final three.”
Photo courtesy of Dani Gama via Flickr.
