Somewhere in the recesses of your mind lies the memory of the day when you first learned about sex. Whether you heard about doing the deed from your parents, your friends, or even the school nurse, what you probably remember most is the awkwardness of the situation.
Well, despite the squirminess “the talk” undoubtedly produces, today’s teens actually want to talk to their parents about sex. May 6 marks the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, so if you have teenage kids, it’s as good a day as any to have that chat.
According to a recent survey released by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 31 percent of teens say that their parents most influence their decisions about sex, as compared to friends (18 percent), the media (7 percent) and teachers and sex educators (three percent). Parents, however, don’t believe their own hype: 43 percent think their kids take their cues from their friends.
Unlike TV shows of decades past (when married couples were still sleeping in twin beds, and pregnancy was concealed behind pillows or baggy blouses), today’s media doesn’t shy away from the sex lives of teens — which can prove to be a valuable tool for talking to your teens about sex and pregnancy.
While some of the scenarios are unrealistic (the oversexed high schoolers on Gossip Girl whose promiscuity never seems to have consequences) shows like the Secret Life of the American Teen, One Life to Live and 90210 are telling teen pregnancy stories in a realistic way.
“It definitely helps start the conversation,” said Avery Murphy, a 17-year-old from Washington, D.C. “And you can talk about these situations hypothetically.”
Opening the dialogue with your kids is the key. “I don’t need to know what my daughters are doing with their boyfriends,” said Avery’s mom Pamela. “But I do need to know that we’ve had conversations and that the foundation is there, so they know what to watch out for.”
Last night, Law and Order: SVU aired an episode centered around “sexting,” an increasingly common practice among teens that involves sending naked or sexually explicit pictures of themselves via text message. These subjects are coming up more often, so use the opportunities to start the sex and pregnancy conversation. Kids are listening — even if you think they aren’t.
