London Fashion Week officially kicks off this week. Ah, the glitz! The glamour! There will be Westwood, Williamson and tributes galore to the late and great Alexander McQueen. Sigh.
But, alas, you simply cannot make it this season. We understand, and do not fault you in the least. Prior engagements, of course.
So in honor (err, honour) of the catwalk kickoff, we’ve taken a lead from our cross-the-pond counterparts, who, this week explained exactly how to be British. Here are 10 simple ways to Brit-ify your banter. Or, for the accent-leery, your e-banter. Because if you can’t walk the catwalk, at least you can talk the catwalk. Or something like that.
1. “Brilliant” — Okay, so your intern photocopied those memos just fine. Rather than saying “great, thanks,” reply with “brilliant!” Why not? It’s smashingly satisfying for both parties.
2. “Give it a go” — Forget Nike. Don’t just do it. Say you’ll “give it a go.” It’s like a light tip-toe in place of a stomp.
3. “Quite” — When you feel tempted to say “really,” “very,” “totally” or “soooo,” stop yourself. Immediately sub in “quite” and up your maybe-my-mum’s-English quotient.
4. “Queue up” — Netflixers, you are already accustomed to incorporating “queue” in your vocabulary. Brilliant! (Yes, I follow my own rules sometimes.) For everyone else, three suggestions: 1.) Get Netflix; 2.) Forget you never had Netflix; and 3.) Lose the “line.”
5. “Shall” — If you’re “going to,” go ahead and “shall” instead. Say, “I shall call once I’m back,” or “What shall we buy at Marks & Spencer?” One exception to the rule: “Shall we dance?” We still have not recovered from the awkwardness that was J.Lo and Richard Gere. Salsa dancing. Together.
6. “Perhaps” or “Perchance” — You’ll feel fancier than those poor times of old when you said, “maybe.”
7. “Double” — When reciting two of the same numbers or letters in a row, say “double zero” or “double s” instead of “zero zero” or “s s.”
8. “Loads” — Say you had “a lot of fun” last night, and your date will appreciate it. Say you had “loads of fun” last night, and you’ll charm his pants off.
9. “The States” — Unless you’re talking Olympics — and we don’t blame you (Love you, McTwisty!) — say you’re from “the States.” Not America. It’s just more stately.
10. “xxxxx” — No “o” needed when signing off, darling. Proper Brits are all about the double kiss. And we’re fine with that, Colin Firth. Absolutely fine with that.
Photo courtesy of scazon via Flickr
