Europe definitely has its fair share of odd statues. In the past, Tonic highlighted such gems as the Lenin statue in Yalta gazing directly at a McDonald’s and the Viennese sculpture of a young child looking at the private parts of others. Nevertheless, the highest concentration of such oddities appears to be in centrally located countries like Germany and the Czech Republic. Tonic put together a list of the 10 best we found on a recent European trek, and after taking a gander at these, your neighbor with the Greek god statues in his front yard might just seem a little less weird.
10. Chip Off the Ole Block
This statue on the 12th-century Old Stone Bridge in Regensburg is supposed to represent a scout watching for approaching ships, but Bruckmandl, as he’s called, looks more like a Chippendale’s dancer working a pole. Sure, they didn’t have Chippendale’s in Bavaria back then, but maybe this artist was a visionary.
9. Dude, Where’s My Fig Leaf
Many statues seem to appear out of nowhere on people’s private property, as did this little guy in a small town along the Danube. I found it tucked away on someone’s outer wall while walking along a cobblestone residential street. I hope the owner didn’t think this imp-like creature would increase his property value. Let’s just hope this Peeping Tom-like image isn’t a reflection of the owner himself. At the very least, this guy explains why some statues definitely need fig leaves.
8. Dot Your Ts and Cross Your Eyes?
Cologne might best be known for its massive cathedral, chocolate museum and namesake perfume, but it’s also home to this crossed statue. The statue is actually part of a famous puppet duo, the big-nosed Tünnes and the cross-eyed Schäl.
7. Jonah’s Revenge
One gander at this German statue and all you can say is, “Sir, step away from the fish!” Apparently PETA needs a stronger presence in Bavaria.
6. The Headless Churchman
You’ve heard of the headless horseman, but what about the headless churchman? This statue appears in a church in Bamberg, not Sleepy Hollow, so it’s a bit uncertain what the artist was getting at from a spiritual perspective. Of course, Bamberg is also the home of the smoked beer, so maybe the artist just smoked a few too many.
5. Asleep on the Job
No, the Man at Work isn’t dedicated to the Aussie singer behind “Down Under,” but the “Cumil” statue could represent a Rush Limbaugh nightmare (assuming the “man” is receiving a government paycheck). Located in Bratislava, the popular statue is open to interpretation, but it is certainly one of the more popular images snapped in the Slovakian capital.
4. I Believe I Can (Let It) Fly
There are just way too many statues that put the water spout in a less-than-ideal spot, but this one is the best. The builders had to know what they were doing, right? You don’t expect to see a statue like this anywhere but R. Kelly’s house.
3. Gossip Girl
A tour operator actually gave me a bit of history about this statue, and it’s quite ironic. Apparently the rich housewives on this street in Regensburg were famous for leaning out their windows trying to overhear conversations and pick up whatever gossip they could. One homeowner didn’t appreciate the noisiness, and when it was time to do some new construction on his house, he decided to pay them tribute. I imagine it didn’t go over too well with the “Real Housewives of Regensburg.”
2. Bad Moon Rising
Germany apparently has no laws against erecting images on private property, and this residence took advantage. Since it’s the top floor, I’m guessing it was the owner’s way of saying “kiss my penthouse-livin’ booty!”
1. For the Naughty List, I Presume?
American sculptor Paul McCarthy made this Santa Claus statue for the Dutch city of Rotterdam, but apparently he’s not quite so skilled at designing a bell. City officials and citizens thought it was a sexual device, and the statue was quickly hid away in a museum garden. Last year, the city finally relented and gave
kinky Santa a home in the city center, but not before citizen’s gave it the nickname the “Butt Plug Gnome.” Definitely not a resume builder, Mr. McCarthy.
All images by author except the Gnome, by dirk.jan courtesy of Flickr.