In March the world met a brave high school senior who simply wanted to go to the prom — with her girlfriend. So “disruptive” was Constance McMillen‘s request, that the Itawamba County school district bagged the prom altogether.
The Mississippi teen never made it to the actual prom. The town thoughtfully organized a “decoy” prom for a handful of kids including McMillen, students with disabilities and exchange students, while the rest of the class attended another party some 30 miles away.
A violation of civil rights? Yes. A total bummer? Absolutely. And while this has been an undoubtedly trying and difficult time, sticking up for what she believes in has paid off for Constance in ways she could never have imagined. As it turns out, most of the world likes her just the way she is, including President Obama.
Tonic had the pleasure of catching up with Constance during her recent trip to New York City for Pride Week. McMillen spoke at NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s annual Pride Week BBQ and served as one of the parade’s Grand Marshals.
Seeds of Change
As to be expected, news of Constance’s story inspired a media frenzy, quickly turning the 18-year-old into a nationally-recognized gay rights activist. It also earned her the support of the ACLU, thousands of Facebook fans and countless supporters, the most recognizable being Ellen DeGeneres. The famously out and extremely successful entertainer invited McMillen to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
In a moving conversation, the pair discussed the teen’s situation. DeGeneres, a trailblazer in her own right, told Constance that she was an inspiration and presented her with a check for a $30,000 college scholarship. As reported on Tonic, the funds came from an anonymous donor who contacted Tonic to help kick-start fundraising efforts to throw Constance a prom. McMillen didn’t want a special prom, so the money was redirected to a scholarship fund.
While this has undoubtedly been a difficult time for Constance, in three short months the 18-year-old’s life has gotten extremely interesting, particularly since McMillen never really considered herself an activist. In her mind, she was simply being herself. ”I think it’s really just because of the way I have been raised. I have always been raised to stand up for myself and I have always been raised to be proud of myself — so a combination of those. I really couldn’t do anything else if I was going to be true to myself,” McMilllen told Tonic.
The Riches of Integrity
Paradoxically, being banned from the prom has opened so many doors it’s almost hard to keep count. About a month after visiting Ellen, Constance appeared via satellite on The Wanda Sykes Show. At the end of the interview Sykes surprised Constance and asked her if she would attend the GLAAD Media Awards to present her with the Stephen F. Kolzak award (above, left). McMillen accepted the invitation and honored Sykes in Los Angeles on April 17. Interestingly, the very women who paved the way for Constance’s generation, are among those now recognizing her for her own courage and spirit.
The charged political debate and high profile support has thrust McMillen into the spotlight and a position of responsibility — one she’s willing to accept. “I know I will continue to be an activist because through all of this, I have met a lot of people. I have heard a lot of horror stories so it’s really made me realize how important it is to be an activist. Because, you hear some of these stories and you are like, ‘how can you not be an activist?’ You know, because some of them are really heartbreaking.”
Unusually confident and self-possessed for a recent high school grad, McMillen brings an invaluable element of authenticity and humility to the cause. In honor of LGBT Pride, she attended a White House reception with President Obama and spent a day on the Hill advocating on behalf of other LGBT students. Although she only saw the president for about “five seconds,” McMillen had a sit down with Minnesota Senator Al Franken, lead sponsor of the Student Non-Discrimination Act. The bill aims to eliminate future First Amendment violations like the one being fought in Constance McMillen v. Itawamba County School District, et al.
When asked about the future, McMillen feels optimistic. ”I know it will change, it’s really just a matter of time because you can tell that my generation, they really don’t care so much about people being gay. You know they might be like, ‘well I wouldn’t be gay because that’s wrong,’ they might not think it’s OK, but they don’t really think so much about it when somebody else is gay. They just kind of go on with their life. I think that as the generations go by, there will be more and more tolerance because more people are coming out. And that’s a big thing. The more people that come out and the more cases that people hear about, the more that people will get to know gay people. Then I think that there will be more equality and eventually, simply equality.”
As more people continue to support gay rights, or at the very least practice tolerance, it’s hard to imagine McMillen’s vision not soon becoming a reality. Chris Hampton of the ACLU told Tonic that this year they received fewer calls from students needing support around prom season. And, that several kids called and said specifically that their schools said, “‘yeah, we heard about that girl in Mississippi. Sure, you can take your girlfriend.’ You know, so, I think Constance can take credit for a few of those.” From where we stand, the dignified refusal to accept a violation of her civil rights will not only prove to be another stepping stone toward freedom and equality for other LGBT youth, but has also been the impetus for what promises to be one hell of a ride for McMillen.
In the face of rejection and discrimination from her peers, their parents, administrators and strangers, she seized the opportunity to make a difference in a way that few have, and she’s done it with grace. And, let’s not forget that she’s still just a kid so to speak. What college freshman wouldn’t love a surprise video message from Lady Gaga, tickets to Green Day’s American Idiot and the opportunity to make a documentary about gay rights in America? Constance, we say you deserve it all and more. Keep showing the world that it pays to be yourself.
Photos 1 & 2 by Getty Images, photo 3 courtesy of ACLU.org.