Think back to the spelling bees of your youth. How much easier (and less anxiety-inducing) would they have been if you had access to a dictionary? That’s the exact premise of the 826LA Spelling Bee for Cheaters, a “tournament of verbal smarts and fraudulence,” where you can buy access to hints like “‘i’ before ‘e’” and “invent a word” (where you can literally invent a word). The cheating is all in the name of a good cause, of course, and all contestants will get a bag lunch, so really, everyone wins — especially if there are Snack Packs.
According to their website, 826LA is a “non-profit organization dedicated to supporting students ages 6 to 18 with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write.” They provide free tutoring, workshops, field trips, English as a second language assistance and writing and publishing help. The Board of Directors includes author and McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers and screenwriter Naomi Foner, and Judd Apatow — Spike Jonze and Fiona Apple are just a few members of the Advisory Board.
Eggers and Apatow are well known for their sense of humor, which is why they put on events like the Spelling Bee for Cheaters, which they’re running with the creators of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. The event provides a chance for ribald humor, good-natured “cheating” and trickery, but all for a good cause. It will take place at 2 p.m. on August 14 at Lincoln Middle School in Santa Monica, Calif., but teams have already started raising money for the chance to one-up each other in the bee.
As soon as a team has signed up (up to 50 teams can register), anyone can go to the team’s site to pledge money and help the team buy “cheats” at the event. According to the rules, “each team must send one speller to the stage. No crying!” But, if you’ve played your cards right and done enough fundraising, you won’t need any tears (or whatever new word for “tears” your team has invented).
What sorts of hints and bluffs can money buy you in the bee? $100 gets your team a one letter hint (think ‘i’ before ‘e’ or “there’s a silent m in ‘mnemonic.’”). For $750, you can use the dictionary, but time spent looking in the dictionary counts. $1,500 allows you to invent a new word as long as you can pronounce it, spell it and give it a definition. For $6,000, you get a second chance at spelling your word. If you manage to raise $25,000, you’re invincible and basically win the entire thing because you get “double the cheats.”
If you think you can out-spell, out-cheat and out-wit the likes of John Krasinski, Spike Jonze, Catherine Keener and Dianna Agron, click here to register or join a team today. But remember: There’s no crying in fake spelling bees.
Photo courtesy of 826LA.org.