Mark Malkoff had all the signs of a serious addiction: escalating tolerance, difficulty cutting down or controlling the addictive behavior, social and recreational activities becoming increasingly focused on the addiction, interference with his close relationships. But rather than check himself into a rehab, he decided to take matters into his own hands and retreat to … his bathroom.
Admitting You Have a Problem
“Some people have said that I could have gone to the mountains or on a cruise, but when I brainstormed, the only place I could think of where I could get away from the Internet was my bathroom,” Malkoff told Tonic.
And so the self-described Internet addict cleared out the contents of his medicine cabinet to make way for five days’ worth of Ramen noodles, green tea and fruit, outfitted his bathtub with a pillow and blankets and cut himself off from his greatest pleasure: surfing the Web.
Malkoff is a New York-based comedian and filmmaker whose various performance projects, all documented in hilarious videos, have garnered international media attention. The writer is probably best known for moving into an Ikea store in Paramus, N.J. for a week, or for his attempt to visit all 171 Starbucks locations in Manhattan in a single day. In December 2009, he set out to disprove the notion that New Yorkers are rude and was carried across the city by strangers.
But this most recent experiment, conducted in August of this year, was more personal. Malkoff said his addiction to social media and news websites had escalated in recent years to a point where he couldn’t log off even just for an hour. His habit was getting in the way of his marriage, causing him increasing anxiety and disconnecting him from activities he once found enjoyable.
“The first thing I would do when I woke up in the morning was I immediately had to go online. I was on Twitter for several hours a day, Facebook several hours a day,” admitted Malkoff, who added that he would also compulsively check his email and multiple news sites every few minutes.
Malkoff said that dates out with his wife, Christine, inevitably involved trips to the bathroom to check his email on his phone and even riskier behavior, such as surreptitious attempts to check his phone under the table, despite getting busted by his wife every time.
“I don’t know why I have to do this. It’s a compulsion that really didn’t exist 10 years ago,” he said. “At this rate, I’m kind of afraid where it’s going to be 10 years from now.”
Detox & Rehab
Malkoff drafted a list of non-technology-related activities to complete while he was sequestered in his Pepto-Bismol-colored bathroom, including learning to knit, reading an epically-long novel, memorizing the US presidents (in order), learning to play “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” on the guitar and writing letters to friends and family telling them that he loved them, including a love letter to his wife — all favorite activities that had been robbed by his preoccupation with the Internet.
“I was way more productive than I’ve been in a long time,” said Malkoff, who had friends and consultants visit him in his bathroom to help him exercise, learn new skills and pass the time.
And of course, Malkoff documented his experience on film and so far, has released two hilarious videos via MyDamnChannel. He says he wants to release a third, but is not quite sure how to mine the eight hours of footage to show in an entertaining way that Internet addiction is a real condition that he had to take to an extreme level to kick. After all, behind all the fun and games, is a serious addiction with serious consquences. And he’s not the only one succumbing to the increasing pull away from life offline.
“In the beginning, I felt that I wasn’t connected to anything or anyone other than myself. It was a very, very strange feeling,” said Malkoff. “The whole being-alone-thing. My thoughts were just, ‘This is not natural,’ but I think being by oneself is completely natural. I had to force myself to just kind of do this whole exploration, kind of analyze how my life has been these past two years with constant technology; that I had to find a balance; that it was necessary.”
And while he admitted that “not knowing what was going on initially destroyed me,” the experience ultimately, “gave me silence again and an inner sense of peace.”
Life in Recovery
Malkoff said that when he did finally emerge from his bathroom after 120 hours, the first thing he did was walk around the block. He said for the first time in he can’t remember how long he noticed the feel of the trees, the smell of the flowers and the sound of the birds. How sad is that? And yet, when was the last time you weren’t checking your phone while walking down the street?
What’s more, when he did finally log on again, Malkoff realized he hadn’t really missed all that much.
“I really didn’t need to know a lot of this stuff,” said Malkoff, referring to the news that had happened while he was in his bathroom.
And while his experiment hasn’t necessarily cured him of his addiction, Malkoff said that his experience has made him so much more aware of the need to limit his addictive behavior. He’s also grateful that he has the insight to acknowledge his addiction, because, he said, “most people have accepted this is just how it is,” their lives are lived online. And while his project was aimed mostly at addressing his own addiction, Malkoff said he hopes others can benefit from the lesson of moderation.
“There are a lot of people that can handle the whole tech thing, but for the people that can’t, I just want them to be aware, not accept that it’s normal [to constantly be online,] but that there is a world outside and it’s a healthy place and there should be some balance to it,” he said.
So how is Malkoff doing now? For starters, when he wakes up in the morning, he tries to take moment to enjoy the silence he found in those days in his bathroom. He is also limiting his time on Facebook, Twitter and news sites, but admits that he still frequents them more often than most.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be that person that checks their email just twice a day, but I am taking little steps,” he said. “I haven’t grown a beard and I don’t drive a buggy, but I am inclined to keep myself in check.”
Be sure to check out the second installment of Malkoff’s videos about his Internet detox.