Sometimes, reality TV gets a bad rap. It’s clear that shows like Rock Of Love and Jersey Shore contribute nothing positive to our society. Even Survivor is a show where contestants are rewarded for lying, cheating and dishonesty. Traditionally, these are not the character traits our culture traditionally celebrates. So, in honor of Earth Day I would like to shed some solar-powered light on all the wonderful things you can learn about preserving our planet just by watching an episode of Survivor. Any episode, really. It doesn’t matter if you are completely off the grid (and therefore not reading this) or you are completely energy-dependent and contributing to the destruction of the Planet, Survivor provides any viewer with the essential tools to protect yourself and the world in which we live.
Quickly read the following list, electronically share it with friends on Facebook, shut down your computer and hug a tree.
Dip and Dump – A historic Survivor strategy to conserve toilette paper. Find the nearest body of water, float on your back and release. No need to flush and no messy clean up.
Shut your mouth – To reduce the absurd levels of green house gas in the atmosphere, some people should stop talking. On Survivor, when you have a big mouth and chat too much, like Coach, you get voted out. Let’s not vote out our ozone layer, we need her.
Support local farmers – On Survivor we scavenge for food in our immediate surroundings. When I was in Kenya on Survivor Africa we drank the blood of a local cow, and on Survivor Amazon they consumed local populations of the Babacu worm.
Take shorter showers – Rain is Gods way of saying, “you smell like elephant dung, please wash yourself in my shower.” Since we have no fresh showers on the show, dancing in the rain is the next best option.
Use second hand toys – The Survivor challenge department has done an amazing job re-using the best challenges from previous seasons, sprucing them up a bit and re-presenting them on Heroes vs. Villains. Additionally, CBS has recycled some of its best old players as well like, Dolby Conaldson, Jurri Menthy, Tim Wistman, Rippert and Sundra (names have been changed to protect contestants privacy).
Preserve and protect the great outdoors – Survivor has traveled to the most remote places on earth and opened our eyes to new flourishing ecosystems: Palau, Vanuatu, the Australian Outback, the Amazon jungle, Gabon and Exile Island, to name a few. Oh yeah, we can’t forget about the man-made Paradise Island showcased on Rob and Amber’s wedding.
Consolidate your wardrobe – Survivor is proof that you only need one outfit to function in any social situation. Some people on Survivor actually choose to wear less than one outfit. Thank you Jenna Morasca and Richard Hatch.
Use cruelty free make-up – I’m not suggesting to bake in the sun, however frolicking in the hot rays for 14 hours a day eliminates the need for hair and make-up. Everyone looks better with a tan. Duh. In fact, the light emitted by the Tribal Council fire should be bottled and sold to the masses. This is the best beauty light HDTV has to offer. Eat your heart out Janice Dickinson.
Conserve electricity – This is an easy one. As contestants, we are stripped of everything that connects us to modern technology. We are stranded in the middle of nowhere and have zero access to any form of plug socket. Multiple attempts at creating a drift-wood Blackberry, coconut boom box and solar powered night light have failed. Having said that, if organizing a blind-side vote doesn’t work, there is always the electric eel Taser gun.
Start a fire – On Survivor and in the real world, fire signifies life. With fire you can boil water, cook food and burn the socks your tribe mate “by accident.” Jeff Probst snuffs the fire on your torch as you are voted out and forced to exit the game. This is powerful stuff. So today, please light a match, dye your hair red, start a rumor at work or flirt with Lindsay Lohan. Whatever fire you start, respect the element that gives us life.
Photo by Shehal via Flickr