By Dan Estabrook – August 7, 2008 (TNN)
Dan’s note: “The Scallion” is my new weekly column (sometimes twice a week, sometimes once every other week) written in the spirit of “just having fun.” The name is the brilliant creation of Michael Geller, our Tonic President, who enjoys bagels and softball (but not together). I promised him credit where credit is due.
OK – so Paris Hilton is too young to serve as President of the United States. However, she is never too young to “lead,” as she declares she’s ready to do in her infamous video we all saw this week. While we never discuss politics at Tonic News Network (it’s not polite), we do have to step forward to endorse Paris for something.
The fabulous media-hungry jet setter challenged the establishment with her rebuttal to John McCain in the now “watched by millions” video. You have to hand it to her — her brilliance (or that of her handlers) deserves a place in the campaign, the green movement, or somewhere she can influence the masses.
I can tell you, as an avid poster of videos to YouTube, my videos do NOT generate the buzz that Paris’ do. 273 people have watched the video of my friend Chad singing karaoke. And 143 kind souls watched the video of me bowling at our company holiday party. And they’ve been up for two years. But, I’ve had no traffic like the 5,000,000 hits that Paris generated. In only two days!
Let’s face it — in the age where we are all clobbered day after day with repetitive nonsense from the mouths of our leaders, media, bloggers (except here at TNN), and the guy next to you on the train who decides to host a conference call as he spills his coffee in your lap, we need Paris to keep us on track. Her energy policy actually made some sense and she muttered it in less than 4 seconds. That’s a pretty good sound bite. And I have no qualms with our leader addressing us in a smart one-piece while reading Conde Nast, either. We all could use advice on the best place to tan.
Imagine if Paris became our green spokesperson? She could make Al Gore look wooden (again). She would take the movement 10 steps forward and look good doing it. And we would follow.
It is in this spirit that we hereby endorse Paris Hilton for something. You fill in the blanks.
If you are one of the three people who haven’t watched the video, here it is.