Another day, another American Idol audition show. Today we highlight the best one-liners from the show — and even added our own one-liners back when appropriate.
10. The enduring Simon/Ryan hate-fest continues …
In the opener Simon jokingly says that Ryan has this line in his script: “I think I’m falling in love with him.” Ryan retorts, “That’s what he says to himself in the mirror.”
9. Crazy IQ-sweaty guy gets defiant …
One contestant to Simon: “I’m. Not. Going. Anywhere. I’m sorry.” Judges to contestant: You. Are. Not. Going. To. Hollywood. (Bonus points to Kara for her follow-up: I wanted to give him a towel.)
8. Adam Lambert spawns people who think the hair makes the singer …
Simon to Lambert-a-like: “It sounds like you’ve gone to the dentist 10 minutes ago.”
7. American Idol teaches our youth values …
A little kid comments on his older (presumably) sibling’s lack of golden ticket: “That was crap.”
6. Simon gets paternal …
Mary (a Pat Benatar sing-a-like) has a daughter who proclaims that she likes Simon’s negativity. What does Simon say upon hearing this? “Are you sure this isn’t my daughter?”
5. Proclamations of self suck-a-tude …
Singer Damien proclaimed that he screwed up about as bad as possible. Simon retorted, “Damien, you should just go.” In an American Idol first, Damien agreed: “On my way.” And out the door he went.
4. Random auditioner comment of the day …
A dancing man in red stripes named Austin said: “I don’t think there’s anyone on American Idol that’s — sexually — ever been like me.” I don’t know what that means. And I don’t want to know.
3. Hide your daughters — Ryan is coming!
When confronted by a young girl that proclaimed she would audition for American Idol when she was 16, Ryan said: “I’m going to be really old when you are 16.” Good point. And, ewwww.
2. Dumb comment of the day from someone crying after being rejected …
“Get out of my face.” Really? What did you think the cameras were going to show? Your feet?
1. “Don’t hit on my friend” comment of the day …
Auditioner Jason Greene sang, “When I think about you, I touch myself.” Kara responded, “I believe you.”
Image courtesy Wikipedia